I was 30 years old the day I was told that I had an invasive stage III tumor in my breast. A wife, a mother of a 7-year old, a 2-year old and an 11-month old, I thought I had the perfect life. Then everything changed that afternoon in August 2004. There were so many tests. Then, chemotherapy came, then the surgeries and after that radiation, and more surgery. There were times I felt that I would rather die than go through it one more day. I was sick all the time; I was missing out on so much of my kids daily lives. My husband worked all the time and never talked about what the cancer was doing to us.

In March 2007, I was finally declared cancer free. I was done and there was nothing else left to do. I had been reconstructed and only had to take one medication. In November 2007, my husband, the man I loved, came home from work, took a shower, grabbed some clothes and said he was leaving. Things seemed to go from bad to worse over the next year. I was served divorce papers two days after Christmas by his girlfriend. Everything was so very ugly. My husband and his girlfriend took to name calling, saying I am a freak because of my scars, that I am ugly and that nobody was ever going to want me. I believed them.

One day while on Facebook I spotted Rachel’s grouop, I joined and read about her Sirens for Survivors program. I thought to myself, 'That would be really fun' so I sent her a quick email and told her a bit about my story. I didn’t really think that she would choose me but the next thing I knew I had an appointment for my photos to be taken. The day of my session, while waiting in the lobby of the hotel, I thought I might throw up I was so nervous. I

wondered 'What am I doing?’. I had no one in my life to share these portraits with but decided ‘Oh well, it will be fun!’.

When the session began, I was so shocked because I was so comfortable. I laughed. I had a great time. I felt so sexy, something I haven’t felt in so long. And after my session, when I went home and I was alone, I had myself a good long cry. Not in sadness but because for the first time in years I felt my value. I felt that I was worth more than what I had been told I was. I took back my power. Thank You Rachel you have done more for me than you could ever imagine.

Forty two years ago I was born.  Six years ago I married my friend.  Five years ago my youngest son was born.  Three years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.I remember that day I came home from work
I took off my pants and I took off my shirt
I was feeling fine, never any pain
But to my surprise, my ducts began to rain.The day I was first told that I had cancer; I was taking my oldest son to see his doctor when my physician called me and said “we have the results of your biopsy.”  My initial reaction was one of numbness.  All I could think was, “what’s next?”  I couldn’t cry because I didn’t want my son asking questions that I couldn’t possibly answer.  Therefore, I didn’t say anything.   At that point, all I knew to do was to continue with my plans for the day and be mom, not a cancer victim.Being diagnosed actually turned out to be a blessing.  Going through this storm allowed me to learn more about myself and gave me the strength to endure other storms to come.   I soon realized that it’s up to me to live my best life.  I needed support and love but instead during that time, I received senseless drama and negative energy.   I allowed another human being, to take me to an uncomfortable place of being.  A place where I’d never been and will never go again.I learned about Sirens through a close friend who urged me to submit an essay for the Nashville contest.   I was planning a trip to Nashville and the photo shoot was scheduled during the same weekend.  I was at work when I received the call that I had won.  I had to literally run outside so that I could scream.  I was ecstatic! During the photo shoot I simply escaped to another realm.  When the door closed, I left everything and everybody else outside.   When I saw the proofs, I

cried!  I couldn’t believe it.   This was an awesome experience that gave me another layer of confidence.  Now, I’m saying, “Yes I can, Yes I will, Yes I am…Beautiful.  Rachel, you are phenomenal! Thank you so much.  I am so grateful for this opportunity.  I am honored to be chosen as the first Sirens Survivor!